Gift-Fic: Uncowventional
by: Flaming Trails

“So – Mr. Wonka bred these cows himself?”

“With a little help from yours truly,” Lewis said, smile bright and proud as he slapped the side of the bovine before him. It mooed and gave him a look. “Never met him in person, of course, but we shared a lively correspondence with the help of his staff. After I helped him crack the genetic codes he needed for the milk, I was guaranteed free milkshakes for life at any of his stores. Plus a previously-agreed-upon fee.”

“I would have been happy with just the milkshakes,” Victor said, with a chuckle that was ninety-five percent joking. He petted the nose of the deep brown cow, watching as it waggled its ears and swung its tail. “She really produces chocolate milk?”

“Yup! Not quite ready to drink – it still needs to go through all the usual processing. But – thanks to some very careful splicing with the cocoa plant – the flavor is there from the start!” Lewis clapped his hands as he pointed out the other members of the herd. “And, naturally, with that success under our belts, we moved into other varieties. The pink one, Belle, is strawberry milk; the yellow one, Bonnie, is banana milk; and the lighter brown one with the creamy head, Della, is coffee milk. Though I’m not entirely sure her splicing turned out quite right…” He scratched his head, then shrugged. “On the other hand, I’ve never liked the taste of coffee.”

Victor laughed softly. “Me either, honestly. So why are Betsy and her friends here, then?” he asked, as said cow let out another loud moooo. “I thought Mr. Wonka didn’t like any of his Inventions getting out into the wild, even collaborations.”

“Funny you should mention collaborations – Betsy, Belle, Bonnie, and Della are, hopefully, getting an upgrade,” Lewis said, patting Della’s head. “Mr. Wonka thinks it would be useful to have cows that you could milk right into candy-making molds – skip the processing altogether. So it’s my job to see if I can get the cows to self-pasteurize, at the very least.” He gave Victor a knowing grin. “Want to help?”

The End